Sequesterpocalygeddon Day: ‘Early reports of cannibalism, food hoarding’ from Twitter

http://twitter.com/#!/DanaPerino/status/307455535815462912

Sequester Friday has arrived and it’s every man for himself.

11:59:59 drudge.tw/13tklRU

— DRUDGE REPORT (@DRUDGE_REPORT) March 1, 2013

Gonna let my daughter enjoy the innocence of sleep a bit longer. Then I have to teach her to get used to mortal combat and cannibalism.

— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahNRO) March 1, 2013

If only Homer were here to chronicle #SequesterApocalypse as the rosy fingered dawn touched this fateful day. #KruiserFeelings

— SFK (@stephenkruiser) March 1, 2013

May the odds be ever in your favor.

Washington’s Hunger Games: Sequester’s Cuts to Food Assistance Programs – Daily Beast bit.ly/ZOAAaV

— Lindsay Shirley (@LindsayShirley2) March 1, 2013

Day one: The dead rise from their graves to walk the earth, searching for the 170 million jobs obliterated by the sequester.

Those I pity the most are the poor fools who wake from comas to a post sequester world where the dead walk and wonder ‘Dear God, how?’

— Brian Faughnan (@BrianFaughnan) March 1, 2013

Be careful trying to get to work. it’s Sequester Day –> twitter.com/forewit/status…

— Chris Forewit (@forewit) March 1, 2013

Denial sets in.

There are still cops all over New York City..Weird. #sequester

— S.M (@redsteeze) March 1, 2013

Hey, the sun came up today! #sequestered

— Kayla (@kaylaanderson) March 1, 2013

So just how bad is it out there?

It’s Justin Bieber’s birthday..Thanks sequester.

— S.M (@redsteeze) March 1, 2013

All we can do is pray.

Outside my window the trees are on fire and my neighbor is slow-cooking my other neightbor’s leg over a fire. Sequester today?

— John Nolte(@NolteNC) March 1, 2013

First rule of sequester is to keep your head on a swivel in anticipation of the vicious cockfights to come.

— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahNRO) March 1, 2013

it’s gonna be a rough one RT @jpodhoretz Just looked out the window. Five hedge fund guys fighting over a piece of raw meat. #sequester

— Bret Baier (@BretBaier) March 1, 2013

An AP photo of the sun rising moments ago on the nation’s capital, devastated by sequester: bit.ly/15VGNSV

— jimgeraghty (@jimgeraghty) March 1, 2013

Cutting off Internet is perhaps the cruelest sequestration move. How am I posting this, you ask? Carrier pigeon to Twitter HQ, of course.

— Joshua Treviño (@jstrevino) March 1, 2013

Cruelest effects of sequestration hitting Austin hard as well-off white liberals forced to mix with poor people and minorities at La Fiesta.

— Joshua Treviño (@jstrevino) March 1, 2013

Sequestration means no lattes at local hipster cafe. Bearded guy falls to his knees: “YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!”

— Joshua Treviño (@jstrevino) March 1, 2013

By Monday, agencies will be demanding budget increases to form media operations to hector the public about the horrors of “austerity”.

— John Hayward (@Doc_0) March 1, 2013

Sequester Day 1: apocalyptic 500-foot deficit angel appears in sky over D.C., plucks out one hair, screams in agony for 8 hours

— John Hayward (@Doc_0) March 1, 2013

Sequester Day 1: overpaid bureaucrats briefly consider skipping expense-account lunch; realize they can fire another soldier to cover it

— John Hayward (@Doc_0) March 1, 2013

Sequester Day 1: bureaucrats holding WILL FORM COMMITTEE TO PLAN MEETING TO DESIGN AGENDA FOR FOOD signs appear at interstate off-ramps

— John Hayward (@Doc_0) March 1, 2013

Sequester Day 1: massive death toll feared as America tries to survive under the insanely tight federal spending levels of Spring 2010

— John Hayward (@Doc_0) March 1, 2013

Tips for sequester survival: Trust no one, keep your laser handy

— John Hayward (@Doc_0) March 1, 2013

Sequester Day 1: early reports of cannibalism, food hoarding cause panic, but later it was learned they all came from Michael Moore’s house

— John Hayward (@Doc_0) March 1, 2013

Tips for sequester survival: make sure you are absolutely clear about who runs Bartertown

— John Hayward (@Doc_0) March 1, 2013

A few hours of fitful sleep, the sound of sirens and screams of the victims of the Barackolypse rending the night air.

— Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) March 1, 2013

Sequestration Day 1. Coffee shops of Capitol Hill are boarded up. Abandoned. Where O’ where will I find my liquid magic?

— Sean Agnew (@seanagnew) March 1, 2013

Day One, The Sequester. The bedraggled refugees passing our compound are increasingly cold, desperate and hungry.

— Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) March 1, 2013

I saw their fires in the dark, savagery swiftly tearing away the thin veneer of civilization only govt diversity programs provided.

— Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) March 1, 2013

The found a bedraggled Krugman in the darkened ruins of the Times, eyes filled with madness. “I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. Bernanake”

— Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) March 1, 2013

So just how dire is the situation?

So Apocalyptic sequester kicks in and The Today Show opens with the White House-Woodward fight.

— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahNRO) March 1, 2013

Let’s hope the rumored cure works.

If my sequester lasts for more than 4 hours, I will seek medical attention immediately

— Cameron Gray (@Cameron_Gray) March 1, 2013

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2013/03/01/sequesterpocalygeddon-day-early-reports-of-cannibalism-food-hoarding-from-twitter/

0 comments on “Sequesterpocalygeddon Day: ‘Early reports of cannibalism, food hoarding’ from TwitterAdd yours →

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *